love = respect

from the devotional book "The Excellent Wife Day by Day" by Karen Eiler

Week 2, Day 4
My daughter's roommate was having lunch with some friends, and the discussion turned to relationships.  Emily asked the guys this question: Would you rather be loved or respected?  Her friend Malachi said, "I don't get it.  What's the difference?"

It may surprise you to learn that your husband would be equally confused by this question.  The truth is that, when it comes to their wives, guys have love and respect so inextricably linked in their minds, there is no real difference.  If they separate the two concepts, they'll almost always choose respect over love.  Yes, it's that important!  Most men would rather be respected than loved by their wives.  In fact, if your husband thinks you don't respect him, he is going to feel you don't love him.

There are many reasons to respect your husband and many benefits to the wife who consistently demonstrates respect.  Of course you should do it because its commanded, but let's just take the word should out of the equation.  I'm assuming you love your husband and, because you love him, you want to do him "good and not evil all the days of [your] life" (Proverbs 31:12).  If that is the case, then you need to understand that the best thing you can do for him is to respect him.  That is the how of love; loving your guy the way he wants to be loved means making sure he knows, beyond all doubt, that you respect him.

In Ephesians 5:33, God commands you to respect your husband.  He is the only One who knows how you can best show love to your husband by showing him respect.  If you're struggling in your marriage, respect is likely one of the culprits.  If you're struggling with loving your husband, then learning to respect him will help you grow in your love for him.

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