from the devotional book "The Excellent Wife Day by Day" by Karen Eiler
Week 2, Day 4
My daughter's roommate was having lunch with some friends, and the discussion turned to relationships. Emily asked the guys this question: Would you rather be loved or respected? Her friend Malachi said, "I don't get it. What's the difference?"
It may surprise you to learn that your husband would be equally confused by this question. The truth is that, when it comes to their wives, guys have love and respect so inextricably linked in their minds, there is no real difference. If they separate the two concepts, they'll almost always choose respect over love. Yes, it's that important! Most men would rather be respected than loved by their wives. In fact, if your husband thinks you don't respect him, he is going to feel you don't love him.
There are many reasons to respect your husband and many benefits to the wife who consistently demonstrates respect. Of course you should do it because its commanded, but let's just take the word should out of the equation. I'm assuming you love your husband and, because you love him, you want to do him "good and not evil all the days of [your] life" (Proverbs 31:12). If that is the case, then you need to understand that the best thing you can do for him is to respect him. That is the how of love; loving your guy the way he wants to be loved means making sure he knows, beyond all doubt, that you respect him.
In Ephesians 5:33, God commands you to respect your husband. He is the only One who knows how you can best show love to your husband by showing him respect. If you're struggling in your marriage, respect is likely one of the culprits. If you're struggling with loving your husband, then learning to respect him will help you grow in your love for him.
You can buy this book at Christian Books by clicking HERE
. . . to Heart of the Home NZ
17 October 2011
29 July 2010
Cultivating Humility
Recently Nige and I have been reading together a book called A Gospel Primer for Christians by Milton Vincent and wanted to share the following short chapter:
"According to Scripture, God deliberately designed the gospel in such a way so as to strip me of pride and leave me without any grounds for boasting in myself whatsoever (Ephesians 2:8-9; 1 Corinthians 1:27-29). This is actually a wonderful mercy from God, for pride is at the root of all my sin. Pride produced the first sin in the Garden (Genesis 3:4-6), and pride always precedes every sinful stumbling in my life (Proverbs 16:18). Therefore, if I am to experience deliverance from sin, then I must be delivered from the pride that produces it. Thankfully, the gospel is engineered to accomplish this deliverance.
Preaching the gospel to myself each day mounts a powerful assault against my pride and serves to establish humility in its place. Nothing suffocates my pride more than daily reminders regarding the glory of my God, the gravity of my sins, and the crucifixion of God's own Son in my place. Also, the gracious love of God, lavished on me because of Christ's death, is always humbling to remember, especially when viewed again the backdrop of the Hell I deserve.
Pride wilts in the atmosphere of the gospel; and the more pride is mortified within me, the less frequent are my moments of sinful contention with God and with others (Proverbs 13:10). Conversely, humility grows lushly in the atmosphere of the gospel, and the more humility flourishes within me, the more I experience God's grace (James 4:6) along with the strengthening His grace provides (Hebrews 13:9). Additionally, such humility intensifies my passion for God and causes my heart increasingly to thrill whenever He is praised (Psalm 34:2)."
This book, The Gospel Primer, can be purchased from Gracebooks NZ.
"According to Scripture, God deliberately designed the gospel in such a way so as to strip me of pride and leave me without any grounds for boasting in myself whatsoever (Ephesians 2:8-9; 1 Corinthians 1:27-29). This is actually a wonderful mercy from God, for pride is at the root of all my sin. Pride produced the first sin in the Garden (Genesis 3:4-6), and pride always precedes every sinful stumbling in my life (Proverbs 16:18). Therefore, if I am to experience deliverance from sin, then I must be delivered from the pride that produces it. Thankfully, the gospel is engineered to accomplish this deliverance.
Preaching the gospel to myself each day mounts a powerful assault against my pride and serves to establish humility in its place. Nothing suffocates my pride more than daily reminders regarding the glory of my God, the gravity of my sins, and the crucifixion of God's own Son in my place. Also, the gracious love of God, lavished on me because of Christ's death, is always humbling to remember, especially when viewed again the backdrop of the Hell I deserve.
Pride wilts in the atmosphere of the gospel; and the more pride is mortified within me, the less frequent are my moments of sinful contention with God and with others (Proverbs 13:10). Conversely, humility grows lushly in the atmosphere of the gospel, and the more humility flourishes within me, the more I experience God's grace (James 4:6) along with the strengthening His grace provides (Hebrews 13:9). Additionally, such humility intensifies my passion for God and causes my heart increasingly to thrill whenever He is praised (Psalm 34:2)."
This book, The Gospel Primer, can be purchased from Gracebooks NZ.
29 August 2008
The Mother Who . . . Prays
Here is a chapter from the book, The Mother Who Seeks After God - Daily Devotions for Busy Mums by Laura Martin (Christian Focus Publications).
This book is not only great for busy mums, but also for any Christian woman.
The Lord is far from the wicked but he hears the prayer of the righteous.
Proverbs 15:29
Have you ever considered the reality of Proverbs 15:29? The Lord, the Creator of the universe, the Almighty and Sovereign God actually listens to our prayers. Wow! Does that change anything for you with regard to your prayer life? It certainly does for me. In fact, it makes me feel more urgency in my need to "pray continually" (1 Thess. 5:17). Not pray literally twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. That's impossible. But certainly it does mean that we are to pray persistently and regularly.
As mothers we have an awesome responsibility to pray for our children. For their safety and wellbeing, for their salvation, their spiritual maturity and growth, their respect and awe of God, their hunger for biblical truth, their education, their futures, possible future spouses and children. Actually, maybe we do need to pray continually just to cover all of that! Suddenly prayer seems overwhelming. Before we know it we have allowed our prayer time to be one of those activities that we know we should be doing but which seem too hard and time-consuming and overwhelming.
Sound familiar? Dear mother, prayer is an absolute necessity in our lives and for the lives of those we pray for. Let's look together at some truths about prayer which will reignite our passion for prayer.
1. God is pleased by our prayer
Proverbs 15:8 says, "The Lord detests the sacrifice of the wicked but the prayer of the upright pleases him." When we pray as God would have us pray, with a pure heart, honestly seeking after His will for all of our requests, it pleases God. So when we pray for our child's salvation, it pleases God. In fact, the New King James Bible uses the word "delight" instead of "pleases". Doesn't it delight you to know that by praying with a pure heart, you delight Him?
2. God answers prayer
"Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." John 16:24
Do you know what it is to ask in Jesus' name? It is to ask for whatever is within the will and purpose of Jesus in a person's life. So when we end our prayer by saying "In Jesus' name" we are really saying "Because it is in accordance with Jesus' will." Isn't that an encouragement! God will only answer prayer if it is in accordance with what Jesus wills for a person.
3. God uses prayer for our growth
"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." James 1:5-6
These verses are just one example of how God uses prayer to grow us in qualities needed to be more like Him. Have you ever thought about the qualities prayer develops? Here are a few: Perseverance, patience, humility, hunger for the truth and knowledge of God's will, reliance on God and not on others. Wow! Let's get praying!
4. God uses prayer to comfort us
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
These are just a few examples of the comfort we receive from God through prayer.
Prayer really is more than just a quick, one-sided conversation with God, isn't it? It's about relationship. A relationship which not only involves us and God, but also the ones we pray for. Prayer is a rich gift to give but the rewards we reap from praying are even richer!
Laura's book can be purchased from Grace to You NZ on http://www.gracebooks.co.nz/
This book is not only great for busy mums, but also for any Christian woman.
The Lord is far from the wicked but he hears the prayer of the righteous.
Proverbs 15:29
Have you ever considered the reality of Proverbs 15:29? The Lord, the Creator of the universe, the Almighty and Sovereign God actually listens to our prayers. Wow! Does that change anything for you with regard to your prayer life? It certainly does for me. In fact, it makes me feel more urgency in my need to "pray continually" (1 Thess. 5:17). Not pray literally twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. That's impossible. But certainly it does mean that we are to pray persistently and regularly.
As mothers we have an awesome responsibility to pray for our children. For their safety and wellbeing, for their salvation, their spiritual maturity and growth, their respect and awe of God, their hunger for biblical truth, their education, their futures, possible future spouses and children. Actually, maybe we do need to pray continually just to cover all of that! Suddenly prayer seems overwhelming. Before we know it we have allowed our prayer time to be one of those activities that we know we should be doing but which seem too hard and time-consuming and overwhelming.
Sound familiar? Dear mother, prayer is an absolute necessity in our lives and for the lives of those we pray for. Let's look together at some truths about prayer which will reignite our passion for prayer.
1. God is pleased by our prayer
Proverbs 15:8 says, "The Lord detests the sacrifice of the wicked but the prayer of the upright pleases him." When we pray as God would have us pray, with a pure heart, honestly seeking after His will for all of our requests, it pleases God. So when we pray for our child's salvation, it pleases God. In fact, the New King James Bible uses the word "delight" instead of "pleases". Doesn't it delight you to know that by praying with a pure heart, you delight Him?
2. God answers prayer
"Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." John 16:24
Do you know what it is to ask in Jesus' name? It is to ask for whatever is within the will and purpose of Jesus in a person's life. So when we end our prayer by saying "In Jesus' name" we are really saying "Because it is in accordance with Jesus' will." Isn't that an encouragement! God will only answer prayer if it is in accordance with what Jesus wills for a person.
3. God uses prayer for our growth
"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." James 1:5-6
These verses are just one example of how God uses prayer to grow us in qualities needed to be more like Him. Have you ever thought about the qualities prayer develops? Here are a few: Perseverance, patience, humility, hunger for the truth and knowledge of God's will, reliance on God and not on others. Wow! Let's get praying!
4. God uses prayer to comfort us
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
These are just a few examples of the comfort we receive from God through prayer.
Prayer really is more than just a quick, one-sided conversation with God, isn't it? It's about relationship. A relationship which not only involves us and God, but also the ones we pray for. Prayer is a rich gift to give but the rewards we reap from praying are even richer!
Laura's book can be purchased from Grace to You NZ on http://www.gracebooks.co.nz/
5 August 2008
Prayer Organisation Part II
by Emilie Barnes
Why Pray?
A. We pray because our Lord prayed: "He walked away, perhaps a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed this prayer: 'Father, if you are willing, please take away this cup of horror from me. But I want your will, not mine.' Then an angel from heaven appeared and strengthen him, for he was in such agony of spirit that he broke into a sweat of blood, with great drops failing to the ground as he prayed more and more earnestly. At last he stood up again and returned to the disciples - only to find them asleep, exhausted from grief" (Luke 22:41-45).
B. Prayer gives us the opportunity for confession.
C. Prayer brings discipline to our lives.
D. Prayer drawers us closer to our Lord.
E. Praying for others keeps us from selfishness.
F. Prayer helps us to love those we have difficulty loving.
G. Prayer keeps us from disobedience to God and temptations. "God . . . will provide the way of escape." (1 Corinthians 10:13, NASB)
"Pray God that you will not fall when you are tempted." (Luke 22:46)
How to Pray
"He knelt down and began to pray." (Luke 22:41, NASB)
A. "Don't recite the same prayer over and over as the heathen do, who think prayers are answered only by repeating them again and again. Remember, your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!" (Matthew 6:7-8).
B. A Helpful Reminder:
A - Adore God
C - Confess to God
T - Thank God for everything
S - Supplication and submission unto God
C. "Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it shall be opened" (Matthew 7:7-8, NASB)
What to Pray For
Why Pray?
A. We pray because our Lord prayed: "He walked away, perhaps a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed this prayer: 'Father, if you are willing, please take away this cup of horror from me. But I want your will, not mine.' Then an angel from heaven appeared and strengthen him, for he was in such agony of spirit that he broke into a sweat of blood, with great drops failing to the ground as he prayed more and more earnestly. At last he stood up again and returned to the disciples - only to find them asleep, exhausted from grief" (Luke 22:41-45).
B. Prayer gives us the opportunity for confession.
C. Prayer brings discipline to our lives.
D. Prayer drawers us closer to our Lord.
E. Praying for others keeps us from selfishness.
F. Prayer helps us to love those we have difficulty loving.
G. Prayer keeps us from disobedience to God and temptations. "God . . . will provide the way of escape." (1 Corinthians 10:13, NASB)
"Pray God that you will not fall when you are tempted." (Luke 22:46)
How to Pray
"He knelt down and began to pray." (Luke 22:41, NASB)
A. "Don't recite the same prayer over and over as the heathen do, who think prayers are answered only by repeating them again and again. Remember, your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!" (Matthew 6:7-8).
B. A Helpful Reminder:
A - Adore God
C - Confess to God
T - Thank God for everything
S - Supplication and submission unto God
C. "Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it shall be opened" (Matthew 7:7-8, NASB)
What to Pray For
A. Make a list of all needs:
* Family (children, in-laws etc)
* Personal (finances, problems)
* Friends
* Church (pastor and his family, church leaders)
* Country (city, primeminister, etc)
* School (teachers, principal, students)
* Husband (work, etc)
* Self (home, anger, organising, etc)
* Missionaries
Delegate the above to a day of the week, Monday through Saturday (use tabs).
B. Sunday's tab will be used for sermon outlines and prayer requests.
1. Prayer requests will be added to the above categories.
2. Date prayer requests and date God's answers. Answers may be "wait" ("not now"), "no", or "yes". Always give thanks.
C. Let the children give prayer requests. "All things you ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive" (Matthew 21:22, NASB)
When to Pray
* Morning
* Noon
* Evening
* Meals
* Bedtime
Where to Pray
"When you pray, go into your inner room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will repay you." (Matthew 6:6, NASB)
A. Home - in the closet; while doing dishes, vacuuming, cleaning
B. In the car, while jogging, exercising, walking
C. With others - "Where two or three have gathered together in My name, there I am in their midst" (Matthew 18:20, NASB)
1. Bible study groups
2. Women's prayer groups
3. With a girlfriend
4. On the phone with a friend
Wish Prayers
A. God already knows the desires of our hearts, and He wants us to ask Him for them. It's the attitude about those things that He is concerned about.
B. Check yourself by saying, "Lord, if it wouldn't be good for me to have this, then I really don't want it. But if it would be okay with You, I'll be very grateful and use it for Your glory."
C. Be prepared - God always answers. It may be an immediate "yes", a "wait awhile", an absolute "no," or "the timing is not right at present." Record these answers in your notebook by the item, and allow God to work in your life with His love in giving you what's best for your life. Remember to thank Him in all things. "Always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Ephesians 5:20, NASB).
4 August 2008
Prayer Organisation
by Emilie Barnes
Admit your faults to one another
Admit your faults to one another
and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
James 5:16
Some of you may not have a prayer life at all. Others of you may have a very vital prayer life. Some of you want to have a prayer life but are fumbling with it because you don’t know how to incorporate it into your life or how to organise it. I was once in that position. I was fumbling in my prayer life because I didn’t know the steps to take. That’s what we want to discuss now – some steps to take in order to set up a prayer notebook and to organise our prayer life.
God is always with us. When the times are the lowest, that’s when He picks us up and carries us. Isn’t that wonderful? Some of us have experienced that. Some of us right now are in a position where we’re being carried through a rough situation or problem in our life. It’s wonderful to know that we have our Lord there in order to carry us when times get low and things get rough.
Often we don’t take the necessary time with our Lord in prayer and communication. But do you know what? He loves us anyway. He loves us unconditionally. And that’s why we need to pull together some type of system in our lives where we can spend valuable time in prayer. It doesn’t have to be long, either. Sometimes we get turned off because we feel it takes so much time, but it doesn’t have to be long.
How to Get Started
As with everything else, we need the proper tools and materials. I would recommend a small notebook, perhaps a small ring binder. Get some coloured tabs, some paper, some dividers, and a pen.
Be sure to have your Bible handy. Sometimes you may want to do a little Bible study with yourself as you go into your prayer time, so it’s always nice to have your Bible with you. As I pray, I find that many times God reveals something to me in His Word. If I’m praying for someone, I sometimes feel really impressed to drop that person a note and tell him I’m praying for him, supporting him. At times like this I like to be able to give a Bible verse, so it’s nice to have my Bible close by.
Colossians 4:2 (NASB) says that we are to “devote [ourselves] to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving.” Our attitude as we come to the Lord should be one of thanksgiving. Christ is waiting for us. His attitude toward us is love. And our attitude in return should be one of thanksgiving.
James 5:16
Some of you may not have a prayer life at all. Others of you may have a very vital prayer life. Some of you want to have a prayer life but are fumbling with it because you don’t know how to incorporate it into your life or how to organise it. I was once in that position. I was fumbling in my prayer life because I didn’t know the steps to take. That’s what we want to discuss now – some steps to take in order to set up a prayer notebook and to organise our prayer life.
God is always with us. When the times are the lowest, that’s when He picks us up and carries us. Isn’t that wonderful? Some of us have experienced that. Some of us right now are in a position where we’re being carried through a rough situation or problem in our life. It’s wonderful to know that we have our Lord there in order to carry us when times get low and things get rough.
Often we don’t take the necessary time with our Lord in prayer and communication. But do you know what? He loves us anyway. He loves us unconditionally. And that’s why we need to pull together some type of system in our lives where we can spend valuable time in prayer. It doesn’t have to be long, either. Sometimes we get turned off because we feel it takes so much time, but it doesn’t have to be long.
How to Get Started
As with everything else, we need the proper tools and materials. I would recommend a small notebook, perhaps a small ring binder. Get some coloured tabs, some paper, some dividers, and a pen.
Be sure to have your Bible handy. Sometimes you may want to do a little Bible study with yourself as you go into your prayer time, so it’s always nice to have your Bible with you. As I pray, I find that many times God reveals something to me in His Word. If I’m praying for someone, I sometimes feel really impressed to drop that person a note and tell him I’m praying for him, supporting him. At times like this I like to be able to give a Bible verse, so it’s nice to have my Bible close by.
Colossians 4:2 (NASB) says that we are to “devote [ourselves] to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving.” Our attitude as we come to the Lord should be one of thanksgiving. Christ is waiting for us. His attitude toward us is love. And our attitude in return should be one of thanksgiving.
10 April 2007
The Blessings of Loving My Children - Part II
Our Highest Objective
What is the ultimate purpose of a phileo kind of love? It is nothing less than the salvation of our children’s souls. This is the chief end of mothering. Our goal is not that our children be happy, fulfilled, and successful. Granted, we may desire these things for them. But our highest objective should be that our children would repent from their sins, put their trust in Jesus Christ, and reflect the gospel to the world around them.
J. C. Ryle offered the following admonition:
This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all you do for your children. In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that might question, “How will this affect their souls?”
. . . the chief end of [their lives] is the salvation of [their] soul[s].
While the salvation of our children is our highest aim, our tender love is not sufficient for this task. Only the Holy Spirit is able to reveal the truth of the gospel. However, our tender love can be an instrument in God’s hands. I am convinced that no one has more potential to influence our children to receive and reflect the gospel than we do as mothers. John Angell James in Female Piety illustrated this very point.
As a pastoral conference, held not long since, at which about one hundred and twenty American clergymen, united in the bonds of a common faith, were assembled, each was invited to state the human instrumentality to which, under the Divine blessing, he attributed a change of heart. How many of these, think you, gave the honour of it to their mother? Of one hundred and twenty, above one hundred! Here then are facts, which are only selected from myriads of others, to prove a mother’s power, and to demonstrate at the same time her responsibility.
What great privilege could we possibly have in all the world than to lead our children to the Lord? Let us not for one moment underestimate the power of a tender love.
Grave Responsibility, Greater Grace
No one needs to remind us that it is an enormous responsibility to be a mother. How well we know it! One woman expresses it this way:
I seldom feel like much of an adventurer – standing in this kitchen, pouring cereal into bowls, refilling them, handing out paper towels when the inevitable cry comes: “Uh oh. I spilled.” But sometimes at night the thought will strike me: There are three small people here, breathing sweetly in their beds, whose lives are for the moment in our hands. I might as well be at the controls of a moon shot, the mission is so grave and vast.
Though the mission is grave and vast, God’s grace is greater. He kindly reminds us in His Word: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9).
So if today you missed opportunities to show a tender love, or if you neglected to pray for your children, or if you were impatient with them, and even if you lost your smile and feel like a complete failure as a mother – take heart!
God’s grace is sufficient for you. Look to the cross where Christ died. There He purchased forgiveness for our sins and power to grow in godliness. Not one of us is equal to this task of mothering, but He will help us in our weakness. God will provide all the grace we need to love our children tenderly.
by Carolyn Mahaney
Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother
What is the ultimate purpose of a phileo kind of love? It is nothing less than the salvation of our children’s souls. This is the chief end of mothering. Our goal is not that our children be happy, fulfilled, and successful. Granted, we may desire these things for them. But our highest objective should be that our children would repent from their sins, put their trust in Jesus Christ, and reflect the gospel to the world around them.
J. C. Ryle offered the following admonition:
This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all you do for your children. In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that might question, “How will this affect their souls?”
. . . the chief end of [their lives] is the salvation of [their] soul[s].
While the salvation of our children is our highest aim, our tender love is not sufficient for this task. Only the Holy Spirit is able to reveal the truth of the gospel. However, our tender love can be an instrument in God’s hands. I am convinced that no one has more potential to influence our children to receive and reflect the gospel than we do as mothers. John Angell James in Female Piety illustrated this very point.
As a pastoral conference, held not long since, at which about one hundred and twenty American clergymen, united in the bonds of a common faith, were assembled, each was invited to state the human instrumentality to which, under the Divine blessing, he attributed a change of heart. How many of these, think you, gave the honour of it to their mother? Of one hundred and twenty, above one hundred! Here then are facts, which are only selected from myriads of others, to prove a mother’s power, and to demonstrate at the same time her responsibility.
What great privilege could we possibly have in all the world than to lead our children to the Lord? Let us not for one moment underestimate the power of a tender love.
Grave Responsibility, Greater Grace
No one needs to remind us that it is an enormous responsibility to be a mother. How well we know it! One woman expresses it this way:
I seldom feel like much of an adventurer – standing in this kitchen, pouring cereal into bowls, refilling them, handing out paper towels when the inevitable cry comes: “Uh oh. I spilled.” But sometimes at night the thought will strike me: There are three small people here, breathing sweetly in their beds, whose lives are for the moment in our hands. I might as well be at the controls of a moon shot, the mission is so grave and vast.
Though the mission is grave and vast, God’s grace is greater. He kindly reminds us in His Word: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9).
So if today you missed opportunities to show a tender love, or if you neglected to pray for your children, or if you were impatient with them, and even if you lost your smile and feel like a complete failure as a mother – take heart!
God’s grace is sufficient for you. Look to the cross where Christ died. There He purchased forgiveness for our sins and power to grow in godliness. Not one of us is equal to this task of mothering, but He will help us in our weakness. God will provide all the grace we need to love our children tenderly.
by Carolyn Mahaney
Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother
14 November 2006
The Blessings of Loving My Children - Part I
Number Our DaysLet’s seize the opportunity we have right now to love our children with a phileo kind of love. Though it is easy to become distracted by the constant demands of motherhood, we must not lose sight of this fact: Our children are only young for a very brief time.
When my girls were little, it wasn’t always easy for me to wake up for those 2:00 am feedings. Loneliness sometimes crept in when I missed an activity in order to put them to bed on time. I was eager to get them potty-trained and be done with the dirty diaper routine. Some days it felt as if that season would never end.
But frequently on trips to the grocery store a grandmother would stop to admire my little ones and leave me with this admonition: “Honey, enjoy them now because the grow up so quickly.”
How right those women were!
I was keenly aware of the fleetingness of childhood when my son Chad was born. At the time of his birth, Nicole was sixteen, Kristin was fifteen, and Janelle was eleven. By now experience had taught me to treasure each moment, for I knew he wouldn’t stay small very long.
The challenges of mothering seemed altogether insignificant this time around. Middle-of-the-night feedings weren’t drudgery. I hardly gave a moment’s thought to missing an activity. I certainly wasn’t in a hurry to potty-train my son. In fact, much to the chagrin of my three daughters, I did not tend to that task until he was almost four years old. (By that time, it only took one day to train him!)
Moms, you may be up to your earlobes with babies and dirty diapers. Or you may be spending half your life in the car, driving your children to and from numerous activities. In whatever stage of motherhood you find yourself, may I remind you of something? It won’t last for very long.
Katrina Kenison observes how swiftly children grow up:
Just when I figure out how to mother a kindergartner, it seems, I have a first-grader standing before me instead. I have just learned how to love and live with a nine-year old when the nine-year old vanishes, leaving a preadolescent in his place. They don’t stay still long enough for me to have my fill of them ever, at any stage. “Stop!” I want to shout. “Let’s just do it this way for a while, let’s stay right here.” But the movement is inexorable – up and out, away, into the future.
In Psalm 90 Moses depicted the reality of the brevity of life. He compared our lives to a watch in the night, a dream, grass that flourishes and then fades – all brief and fleeting images. Then he prayed this way: “So teach us to number our days” (v12).
Have you numbered your days lately? If we pause to count the remaining days we have with our children, we will realise how few there are. This awareness will help to safeguard us from neglecting a tender love.
As I once heard someone say: “It’s only a snap of the finger from diapers to tuxedos and wedding gowns.” How well I know this to be true. My three daughters are already married. It doesn’t seem that long ago when I cradled them in my arms for the very first time.
by Carolyn Mahaney
Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother
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